I CAN MOONWALK!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
