How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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