I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
