Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
