ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
