Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
