Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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