Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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