Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
