hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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