fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you had me at cake vodka
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
