I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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