You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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