She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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