We won't sleep together?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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