i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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