My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
