Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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