i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
