whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We smell like vodka and hangover
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