I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
