i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
