why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
