I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
