I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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