he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
did i just pee glitter
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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