Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
