I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she woke up with a sticky ear
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
