I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize