i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dick very happy bro
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
