in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
