So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
