There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
