i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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