I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
