even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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