I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
