i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
