So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
