Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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