i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
