oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
