I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
