I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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