I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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