just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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