the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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