My friends, they love my intelligence
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
