May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
