What a fucking waste of an outfit
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
